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5. Mistaking Arrogance for
Confidence (Part One) |
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Nichiren Daishonin was often
condemned by his contemporaries as “an extremely
arrogant priest” for his confidence as a votary
of the Lotus Sutra to “fulfill the Buddha’s
predictions and reveal the truth of his words” (The
Writings of Nichiren Daishonin, pp. 400–01). Just
as the Daishonin’s confidence was misconstrued as
arrogance, we may be inclined to mistake our arrogance
for confidence and others’ confidence for arrogance.
One of the five delusive inclinations, arrogance is considered
in the Buddhist tradition both as a hindrance to enlightenment
and as a cause for suffering. For this reason, mistaking
arrogance for confidence is likely to set off the downward
spiral of delusion and suffering. The fine line between
arrogance and confidence, therefore, must be redrawn more
clearly to distinguish happiness from delusion.
Arrogance is to judge one’s
self-worth by comparison with others
The first of the seven types of arrogance, which are enumerated
in some Buddhist scriptures, points to the essential quality
of arrogance—“to think that one is superior
to those inferior to oneself and that one is equal to
one’s equals” (The Soka Gakkai Dictionary
of Buddhism, p. 579). Why is this arrogance? Isn’t
it just telling it like it is? What is implied here is
that arrogance is essentially our inclination to judge
our self-worth by comparing ourselves with others.
Certain comparisons between oneself and others may be
objectively true—such as income, IQ or physical
appearance. But if we constantly judge our self-worth
through comparison with others in whatever standards chosen,
we are becoming arrogant. Of course, this is not to deny
some merits that comparison and competition bring to our
lives—such as motivation for improvement and an
opportunity for self-reflection.
Moreover, the correct assessment of our circumstances
through comparison is essential to improving our lives.
In fact, those living in isolation or unwilling to learn
from others are arrogant. Comparison with others becomes
a cause for our concern when it becomes a sole measure
for judging our existence. Put simply, if we start thinking
of our lives as happy or unhappy, meaningful or meaningless,
solely based on comparison with others, we may as well
consider ourselves as arrogant.
Arrogant people feel good about themselves only through
affirming their superiority to others. Our sense of superiority
is always relative to whom we are compared with and never
constant because of our own changing circumstances. False
confidence based on superiority, therefore, easily turns
into a feeling of inferiority and self-disparagement,
like a millionaire feeling poor among billionaires, a
Ph.D. feeling foolish among Nobel laureates or a healthy
person feeling overweight among supermodels. This is why
false humility or self-disparagement is considered as
arrogance in Buddhism. (See the nine types of arrogance
in The Soka Gakkai Dictionary of Buddhism, p. 457.) Put
another way, arrogance and self-disparagement are two
sides of the same coin; we cannot have one without the
potential for the other.
Genuinely confident people, on the other hand, feel great
about themselves without comparing themselves with others.
Such people are aware of some intrinsic personal strength
or merit worthy of praise and respect. Confident people
can put into perspective their ups and downs of life in
this society driven by comparison and competition. Their
missed promotion or lost love does not spell out their
failure as a human being. Their financial success or academic
achievement does not make them superior to their peers.
So long as they continue to be aware of their innate positive
quality and strive to cultivate it, people will remain
confident regardless of their external circumstances.
And Buddhism teaches that the most reliable source of
confidence is our innate Buddha nature.
Arrogance is egotism; confidence
is altruism
What clearly distinguishes the arrogant from the confident
is whether or not they desire and act for others’
happiness greater than their own. Arrogant people are
keenly aware that their self-esteem depends upon their
superiority to others. So they often take delight in pitying
the less fortunate since they can reaffirm their superior
status by doing so.
The “kindness” of the arrogant, however, extends
only so far as it supports their self-importance; it continues
as long as the less fortunate remain less fortunate. Precisely
for this reason, the arrogant cannot will and act for
the supreme happiness of others because they fear it would
only diminish their own happiness. This explains why it
is often easier to feel ambiguous pity for our underpaid
coworkers than to share their joy over their sudden promotion.
One’s loss must be another’s gain—this
is the basic assumption of life held by the arrogant who
cannot stop comparing their fortune with that of others.
Confidence, on the other hand, makes genuine altruism
possible. Since confident people’s self-worth does
not depend upon others, they are free to care for others
and fight for their happiness with the hope that it exceeds
even their own. In fact, the confident see their contribution
to others’ happiness as proof of their expanding
humanity and as a source of great joy.
Confidence is to appreciate oneself even in the worst
possible state.
In the late winter of 1272, Nichiren Daishonin wrote with
his numbing hand: “I, Nichiren, am the richest man
in all of present-day Japan. I have dedicated my life
to the Lotus Sutra, and my name will be handed down in
ages to come” (WND, 268). A reformer who had challenged
the corrupt religious authority of his day, the Daishonin
was exiled, after the failed execution, to a remote northern
island of Japan, expected to die naturally or to be murdered.
Destitute, he was living in a hut in a field scattered
with abandoned corpses, and everything pointed to his
approaching death into oblivion.
These words, however, clearly express the Daishonin’s
confidence that he gave his life to the spread of the
essential teaching of Buddhism, that is, the universality
of Buddhahood. His life meant something for him, although
it seemed to have come to nothing. When he lost everything,
he gained one thing that mattered most—indomitable
confidence that all people, no matter how miserable they
may appear, have the supreme potential of Buddhahood.
Through his own example, Nichiren Daishonin demonstrated
that confidence need not depend on possession or circumstances.
Genuine confidence is to love and praise ourselves even
in the worst possible state, not for how we appear to
others, but for what we are in the innermost of life.
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(Originally published in the World
Tribune, March 7, 2003)
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