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3. Buddhism in New Light Chapter
3:
The Way We See Ourselves |
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Shin Yatomi
SGI-USA Study department leader
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1)
It is important to recognize the unconditional value
of life within us. To enjoy fulfilling lives, we
need to stop judging our worth by comparing ourselves
with others.
2) Nichiren Daishonin explains our innate Buddhahood
as an absolute value of goodness—that is,
good in and of itself, not because of external conditions.
To awaken to this treasure inside is authentic happiness.
3) One of the greatest ways to praise ourselves
is through prayer that sincerely affirms our supreme
potential. As we recognize our own Buddhahood, we
cannot help but recognize the same quality in others,
which further strengthens self-esteem. |
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An important aspect of what we call enlightenment,or
human revolution, is to change the way we see ourselves
and thus to see the unconditional value of life within
us, which neither requires comparison with others nor
depends upon our transient appearance. It is a simple
idea yet requires a difficult change of perspective since
most of us are accustomed to judging ourselves by how
well we fulfill socially prescribed roles in comparison
with others. Those roles are often related to status or
gender but rarely to individual uniqueness.
Judging Oneself Through the
Eyes of Others
As early as elementary school or even before, people start
learning to judge themselves in terms of others: “I’m
not as smart as other kids,” or “I’m
not as slim as other girls.” Later in life, many
people continue to judge their worth in the same way:
“I’m a loser because I don’t make as
much money as most successful men do,” or “I’m
miserable because I’m not married as all happy women
should be.” With subtle yet repeated reinforcement
and censure from society, we learn to live through the
eyes of others, to think of our happiness in terms of
ideas borrowed from or imposed upon us by others. In America,
people are free to express their thoughts, but not many
seem to have thoughts or even feelings of their own.
Nichiren Daishonin explains our innate Buddhahood as an
absolute value of goodness, often describing it with expressions
such as unmade (Jpn musa), originally endowed(Jpn hon’nu)
or eternally dwelling (Jpn joju).Buddhahood, in other
words,is good in and of itself,not because of external
conditions or circumstances. To awaken to this treasure
within us is happiness, while our ignorance of it spells
suffering.As Nichiren states, “When deluded, one
is called an ordinary being, but when enlightened, one
is called a Buddha” (wnd, 4).
The sad irony of modern men and women who have lost touch
with their own lives is echoed in Nichiren’s words:“If
you seek enlightenment outside yourself, then your performing...even
ten thousand good deeds will be in vain. It is like the
case of a poor man who spends night and day counting his
neighbor’s wealth but gains not even half a coin”
(wnd, 3). All the hard work we do for our success and
happiness would be wasted if those ideas were simply imposed
on us from the outside and naively accepted without critical
thinking and reflection.
Deriving self-worth by comparing ourselves with others
is one of our most destructive habits. It may even be
described as a form of self-inflicted violence since it
weakens us by de-centering our existence in the sense
that it shifts the center of power to decide the meaning
of our lives to the outside. We let others decide what
our happiness is instead of deciding for ourselves. With
the power of self-determination lost to external authority,
we are neither free nor independent. Since we live in
a competitive society where this sort of comparison is
encouraged and often unavoidable, it is a difficult habit
to break, but to do so is crucial to our genuine fulfillment
and freedom.
It is ironic that the original meaning of the word compete
derives from the Latin com, “together,” and
petere, “to seek” or “to strive.”
Competition did not originally connote comparison;it meant
“to strive together for shared goals.” Just
as Nichiren characterizes the state of anger as “contention
and strife” (wnd, 100), competition in society often
gives rise to anger, overt or suppressed.
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Some may feel that self-praise
undermines selfdiscipline. Strictness, however,
may come from either compassion or anger. What is
the benefit of being strict with ourselves out of
compassion rather than anger? |
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Competition drives society.
But why are some competitive people successful yet
insecure? What is the weakness of a life built upon
a sense of superiority? |
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To judge self-worth by comparing oneself with others is
essentially an authoritarian way of life in which one
seeks comfort and security in the approval of an external
power. To unlearn such an authoritarian orientation and
build a society in which people may live true to their
unique identities is certainly an aspiration of our multifaceted
Soka Spirit movement, which aims for the liberation of
individuals from all forms of authoritarianism, both within
and without.
Awakening to Our Intrinsic
Value
One way to overcome our tendency to compare ourselves
with others is through learning how to praise ourselves
for our unique, intrinsic value.
A common concern about self-praise is that it may lead
to arrogance, probably due to our Judeo-Christian tradition
in which self-humiliation is often regarded as a necessary
virtue to praise God, while self-praise is deemed to be
a sign of pride, which is one of the seven deadly sins.
It should be noted, however, that arrogance is a defensive
posture caused by a tendency to assume a sense of superiority
or inferiority by comparing oneself with others. Therefore,
so long as we praise ourselves solely for who we are and
for our innate Buddhahood, we will never become arrogant,though
we may at times seem arrogant to arrogant people. Indeed,
the greatest way to praise ourselves is prayer that sincerely
affirms our supreme potential. As Nichiren writes,“When
you chant myoho and recite renge, you must summon up deep
faith that Myoho-renge-kyo is your life itself.”
(wnd, 3)
As we praise ourselves in this way, we will grow confident
yet humble because we can recognize the same quality of
Buddhahood in others as well. Through the practice of
Nichiren Buddhism, appreciation for oneself leads to appreciation
for others, which further strengthens selfesteem. The
way we see ourselves is not only the way we live our lives
but also the way we relate to others.
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(from World Tribune, November
9, 2001)
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