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3. A Reformist Priest's Wife
Speaks Out
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My name is Yoshie Yoshikawa,
and I was born in Kita-Kyushu City, Japan, in 1959, the
eldest daughter of a family consisting of one boy and
three girls. Since my family was very poor, we children
always suffered from malnutrition. Our neighborhood Soka
Gakkai members, who saw our destitute condition, tried
to introduce our family to this Buddhism, but my mother
detested the Soka Gakkai so much that she threw salt on
the porch to purify our home after Soka Gakkai members
visited.
As it so happens, after we moved to Kanagawa Prefecture,
my father was introduced to this Buddhism by a colleague
at work and received the Gohonzon without my mother's
consent. It ended up, however, that my father did not
practice this Buddhism seriously -- but my mother embraced
the Gohonzon and started practicing. Our family of six
started life in Kanagawa in a tiny 6-foot by 9-foot room.
We were a family with hardly any fortune, but because
of my mother's devoted practice, we overcame our bad financial
and health karma; our family situation changed dramatically.
My mother's favorite saying was Our happiness of today
is all to due to SGI President Ikeda's encouragement!
I owe a lot to President Ikeda for what we are today.
I truly respected the Gohonzon and President Ikeda through
my mother's actions. However, my daily life was not focused
on my practice.
When I was 21, I introduced one friend to this Buddhism.
The same year, I met my husband and became a part of a
priesthood family. In the beginning, my husband mentioned
that he had no intention of ever marrying. When he had
become a priest, he had seen how difficult it was to continue
to practice this Buddhism within the priesthood’s
world, where there was no faith in the Gohonzon. He had
seen the wives of the priests who were once active in
the YWD soon discover that they had no place to practice
and rapidly lose their faith. Since he had seen so many
instances of this, he had been afraid to make a woman
miserable by marrying her.
After we got married, my husband told me: If I happen
to die before you, please sever your ties with the priesthood
and go back to the Soka Gakkai, and practice as a women's
division member. Yet as long as I live, I take full responsibility
for leading your faith and practice on the correct path.
My husband first met President Ikeda when he was about
17. Since that time, he knew the correct way of practicing
existed only in the Soka Gakkai. He felt that President
Ikeda was his mentor, and my husband practiced sincerely
even though he was in the thoroughly muddled priesthood.
This is how, from the day of my marriage, I began a life
as a closet Soka Gakkai women’s division member.
The conditions were severe, but I never heard my husband
complain. He steadily continued to practice. The two of
us, as closet Soka Gakkai members who followed President
Ikeda’s guidance, practiced this faith together.
Consequently, my husband was prohibited from audiences
with Nikken, and he was not allowed to participate in
any priesthood activities. He continued his kosen-rufu
activities, though, knowing that he might be banned from
the priesthood at any time. As I watched my husband challenge
himself in these dire circumstances, I continued to chant
sincere daimoku to the Gohonzon. If I did not chant abundant
daimoku, I felt, I would go crazy.
After we got married, I moved into the Ichino-bo, my husband’s
living quarters at the head temple. It also served as
the lodging for the members visiting the head temple.
Eight employees managed it, and their training was one
of the responsibilities of the priest’s wife assigned
to each living quarter. Any mistakes the employees made
in their speech or behavior -- even if the mistakes were
made outside the quarters -- were regarded as the responsibility
of the wife in charge. And everyone there was eager to
find the mistakes of others, to pick on him or her. Their
attitude was far from Nichiren Daishonin’s teachings.
I was only 21 and certainly could not manage everything
without making mistakes. So whatever I did, I was a good
target for their criticism and bullying. For example,
they did not like the way that I bowed to them. Even when
I bent down 90 degrees, they were not satisfied. After
all, it was not the matter of how I bowed -- I was an
outlet for their stress.
In the very small world of the head temple, there was
no sense of joy at all, only conceit and egotism. To them,
helping others or encouraging others was regarded as lowly
behavior, unbecoming. Such behavior was only permissible
for the lay believers.
In such an environment, the stress I felt was so severe
that I suffered horrible migraines once a month. I could
not get out of bed. I could not even turn over. I just
had to wait for the migraines to pass.
I took my frustration to my husband and kept asking him
why I had to suffer this much. He listened to me patiently,
but in the end he would tell me, It is your karma.
I felt very miserable and upset. I thought: I’ll
chant daimoku. I’ll show him. I chanted an average
of two to three hours’ daimoku a day. When I was
24, my brother died suddenly in an accident at the age
of 26. Three months later, my child died after living
only one day in this world. I felt the heaviness of my
karma, over which I could gain no control.
Several hours before my child died, while I was chanting
desperately, I saw myself on the Gohonzon; it was as if
I were looking at myself on a TV screen. At that time,
a thought hit me: My karma had been engraved in my life
since the infinite past. I felt deeply apologetic to my
husband and this child for the way I was and made up my
mind to become a better wife and mother.
My child died several hours later of an unknown cause.
Like my mother three months earlier, I had the karma of
losing a child.
The doctor told me that even if the child had lived, he
would never have been able to walk or see anything, because
his brain lacked oxygen. When I learned this, I was convinced
that we had changed our negative karma, and I thanked
the Gohonzon. This experience established a solid foundation
for our faith.
My mother overcame the sorrow of losing her son and again
exerted herself wholeheartedly in faith. She built her
own meeting place, with a meeting room of 1,046 square
feet. Having a community center of her own was her long-time
dream. She now lives in a four-story building she built,
is filled with joy and is still enjoying activities.
Ten years passed. Soon after I introduced another friend
of mine to this practice, my husband was transferred to
a temple in Kyoto. It was the 80th temple donated by President
Ikeda. My husband had been planning to spend his whole
life at the head temple, dedicating himself to kosen-rufu
by educating the young acolytes -- this assignment was
quite a surprise.
The first two years in Kyoto were totally frantic. From
when the temple opened in the morning until it closed,
the time passed like a speeding arrow. Even though I chanted,
something was missing. I was always seeking something,
but I did not know what I was looking for. Those busy
days left only anguish in my heart. I was constantly asking
myself: Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right
track?
In 1990, the priesthood dismissed President Ikeda from
the position of the head of all Nichiren Shoshu lay organizations
and started to persecute the Soka Gakkai. The persecution
by Nikken’s group fell on my husband, too. They
were always plotting a way to strip him of his priesthood.
When the Shoshinkai questioned Nikken's heritage (see
Confirming Our Path of Faith, pp. 47-49), my husband was
almost kicked out. Nikken’s group always persecutes
those who speak the truth.
My husband, together with some of his fellow young priests,
eventually decided to sever ties with Nichiren Shoshu.
He started his campaign to prove the righteousness of
President Ikeda and traveled all over Japan and the world.
Whenever I saw him off, I felt an indescribable loneliness,
thinking that I had fallen behind in the kosen-rufu movement.
Last November, President Ikeda invited me to the Chubu
Culture Festival. Everything I witnessed was deeply moving.
At the finale, all the people's hearts were united as
one and became a great ball of energy seeking President
Ikeda. I want to be part of this great surge of energy!
I said to myself. I felt as if my heart would burst with
this desire.
When I got home, I chanted. I was filled with the joy
of gratitude. With the Gohonzon and President Ikeda in
my heart, what is there to fear? I asked myself. I could
not stop my tears.
I called Vice President Eikichiro Ueda, who was in Kyoto,
and asked him to make a women's division membership card
for me. This is how I finally began my activities as a
full-fledged women's division member, last November.
Being an observer versus actually belonging to the women's
division is totally different. Before, even if I were
in despair, I was the only one to cheer myself up. Now,
when I am down, if I attend planning meetings and other
meetings, everybody's high spirits naturally inspire me.
It is so wonderful!
In the Soka Gakkai, President Ikeda continuously leads
us to happiness through various campaigns. For example,
when there is a campaign to promote publications, I think
of how I can promote publications from the moment I wake
up and chant sincerely to actualize my prayers. Before
I became a Soka Gakkai member, there were no opportunities
to challenge myself to break through my limitations. I
now realize that it is only through challenging my limitations
that I can really grow. As of today, I have promoted 19
subscriptions to the Seikyo Shimbun and introduced yet
another of my friends to this Buddhism.
The way I pray has definitely changed since I became involved
in Soka Gakkai activities. I earnestly engage in dialogue,
so that people will understand the Soka Gakkai and President
Ikeda. I have learned how to practice this Buddhism correctly.
The most surprising difference is the amount of benefits
that I have received. Before practicing with the organization,
I had a very passive attitude in faith. Today, under the
guidance of President Ikeda, my faith is deepening daily.
As a result, my son, who used to be extremely introverted,
has changed so much. He is talking to every student at
his school about this Buddhism.
He does not get depressed anymore. I understand now that
he is a reflection of my life-condition. He had to suffer
to teach me the power of this Buddhism, so I am very grateful
for him. Both my son and daughter love to attend meetings
more than anyone else.
Some time ago, my husband received a message from President
Ikeda at a Soka Spirit training meeting. President Ikeda
said, Districts are the main stages of the kosen-rufu
movement. I took this guidance as my own and made up my
mind to take action in the forefront of the district.
I am enjoying the daily activities in the district very
much.
It is as if spring has come to our family, filling us
with the blossoms of happiness. Twenty years ago, when
I was at the head temple, I used to watch the visiting
Soka Gakkai members through the windows. I felt very envious
of them joyfully singing Soka Gakkai songs. I shed tears
in front of the Gohonzon, wondering when I would live
proudly and vigorously like those people. Now my life
has changed wonderfully. Now I shed tears of joy.
I am very happy that I am not alone anymore. I have many
fellow members who share my joys with me when I am happy,
who cry with me when I am sad. Most of all, I am happy
to openly profess that President Ikeda is my mentor.
During the last 20 years, I have gone through many things.
All my sufferings and hardships during those difficult
days were to make it possible for me to appreciate the
Soka Gakkai today. I believe that it was my mission to
testify to the validity of Soka Gakkai through my own
experiences. I honestly feel that the Gosho passage Winter
always turns to spring has come true (The Writings of
Nichiren Daishonin, p. 536).
President Ikeda has taught us that the most important
thing is how much we exert ourselves to help others. And
he has taught us that those who genuinely find the greatest
joy in doing so will win the final victory. My past struggle
was a process of human revolution. It was so that I can
now appreciate President Ikeda's guidance from the bottom
of my heart.
It is my eternal joy that I was allowed to join this great
voyage of Kosen-rufu with President Ikeda. I conclude
my experience with my appreciation and determination to
fight together with President Ikeda for achieving the
great dream of kosen-rufu.
Yoshie Yoshikawa Kyoto, Japan
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(Previously published in The
Justice Chronicle, No. 18, Jan. 28, 2000)
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