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February 11, 2000
Experience: A Renewed Sense
of Purpose
By Noriko Adcock
San Diego
When deluded, one is called an ordinary being, but
when enlightened, one is called a Buddha. This is similar
to a tarnished mirror that will shine like a jewel when
polished. A mind now clouded by the illusions of the innate
darkness of life is like a tarnished mirror, but when
polished, it is sure to become like a clear mirror, reflecting
the essential nature of phenomena and the true aspect
of reality. Arouse deep faith, and diligently polish your
mirror day and night. How should you polish it? Only by
chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo. (The Writings of Nichiren
Daishonin, p. 4)
I practiced as a member of Nichiren Shoshu for the past
eight years. What I would like to share is not a mere
emotional account of my past struggle, but what I experienced
firsthand as a temple member. I clearly understand how
Nichiren Shoshu operates from by observing the operation
of the local temple.
First let me backtrack. In 1956, I left my small town,
Chichibu-shi, just outside of Tokyo, for the United States
as a 19-year-old newlywed. My husband was an American
serviceman.
Because of his job, we moved around a lot and, eventually,
we found ourselves in San Diego. It is here that I was
introduced to Nichiren Daishonin’s Buddhism by a
Soka Gakkai member 37 years ago, in 1963.
I happened to live near an SGI member. She came to my
home regularly to visit with her friends to tell me about
Buddhism. They were very persistent.
I think I was looking for something to believe in, but
I hadn’t found anything. Shinto was my family religion,
but I never believed in it. I even tried going to church,
but that didn’t fulfill me either.
One woman from the SGI left a book by the second Soka
Gakkai president, Josei Toda, about Buddhist practice
and daily life. I read it and it really impressed me.
So I decided to join in October 1963.
One year later, in 1964, my husband was transferred to
Seattle. Incidentally, this is where I first met Hiroe
Clow; she was the women’s leader in Seattle at the
time. She was a warm, honest and sincere woman.Shortly
after moving, I experienced difficulties in my marriage.
I came back to San Diego with my three children. Eventually,
my husband and I divorced. Having never worked before,
I had to go on welfare for six months because my husband
never paid child support. There were days when I didn’t
have food; this was how I struggled to raise my family.
I was encouraged by the San Diego members to use my Buddhist
practice to overcome my problems. Being a fairly new member,
I listened to what they said. I chanted and did my best
to introduce as many people as I could to Nichiren Daishonin’s
Buddhism using the Seikyo Shimbun or World Tribune.
I had no skills, so I chanted to find a job. After submitting
many applications, eventually I got one as a waitress
at the CPO Officer’s Club. That’s where I
met my second husband, whom I stayed with for 23 years,
until his death in 1991. We had nothing but good memories.
I believe all these changes happened in my life because
of my Buddhist practice and because of the support of
the SGI members. I was able to overcome each obstacle
that arose in the course of my life.
I lived a comfortable life
So, if my life was so good, why did I leave the SGI? Things
grew very hectic in the organization over the years, and
I could not handle what I believed to be an increasingly
intolerable and authoritarian environment. In 1982, I
left the organization, although I practiced on my own
for the next nine years. For the most part, I lost touch
with the daily goings-on of the SGI. I had no idea of
what was happening between the top leaders of Nichiren
Shoshu and the SGI.
Then, in 1991, my friend who was still practicing within
the organization told me of the schism between the SGI
and the Nichiren Shoshu priesthood. Because the Gohonzon
I received was from Nichiren Shoshu, I decided to go to
the temple in Etiwanda, Calif., to find out what this
was all about. I spoke with the chief priest for two hours
one day. He told me the Soka Gakkai was trying to take
over the priesthood. I innocently decided to trust the
priesthood of Nichiren Shoshu, and I believed I was doing
the right thing.
At the time of this schism, the Etiwanda temple was virtually
deserted. With the few members that were left and the
priest, we resolved to unite to protect our temple and
Nichiren Shoshu. I was happy to be practicing with other
people once again, and at first practicing with the temple
seemed to go well.
However, around 1993 things began to change -— the
head temple replaced the chief priest with a new one from
Chicago. Instead of having open discussion meetings, the
meetings became very cold; the priests became very controlling.
The priests now had to obey the High Priest Nikken Abe.
Based on directives that I believe came from the head
temple, everything was handled in a secret manner; believers
were kept in the dark. We were no longer able to voice
our opinions, talk about problems or make suggestions.
The temple also stopped study meetings on the Daishonin’s
Buddhism. Study was reduced to a priest lifelessly reading
a one-page passage without any explanation or discussion.
Yet we’d go to the meeting and still have to make
a financial contribution. Many American members realized
there was nothing to learn at the temple, that they could
study the Gosho on their own at home. Many people stopped
attending meetings because of all these changes.
Doubt regarding the integrity of Nichiren Shoshu gradually
grew in me —- a doubt stemming from the priests’
insistence that Hiroe Clow lied about the Seattle Incident
and the news of the destruction of the Grand Main Temple
and the Grand Reception Hall by Nichiren Shoshu. What
deeply disturbed me was the fact that High Priest Nikken
was using a huge amount of financial contributions from
the members to rebuild these structures.
I contributed to the construction of the Grand Main Temple
in 1965. I honestly cannot understand why it was destroyed.
The local priest never gave us a convincing explanation,
but the rumor was that it was torn down because its foundation
had deteriorated. This argument did not convince me at
all. I couldn’t believe that the Grand Main Temple,
which was built by top architects, would deteriorate in
a mere 25 years.
For the last three years as a temple member, I stopped
attending most activities. They were void of all spirituality.
Most temple members became consumed with their own trivial
interests, and they were always gossiping about each other
or complaining about the chief priest. I could no longer
see any joy in their faith.
There was no encouragement from the priests either. The
most the new chief priest ever said to address the problems
was that we should be friendly and be unified. Of course,
he also taught absolute obedience to the high priest.
My eyes opened slowly to the reality of the corruption
of the priesthood. But after five years with the temple,
having noticed no significant growth in my life, I began
to reminisce about my days in the SGI, though I told no
one. I remembered the early years of my practice, when
I experienced so much joy and so many breakthroughs. I
also remembered that it was the SGI that introduced me
to the practice, not the priests.
I decided to return to the SGI last October because of
the sincere encouragement of the SGI members. Danny Nagashima,
the new SGI-USA general director, visited me and explained
many things about the schism between the temple and the
SGI. I was also impressed by his polite attitude, his
humility and his passion. He listened with all his heart
to everything I had to say. This encounter opened my heart
and prompted me to resolve to leave Nichiren Shoshu. I
said to myself: “I will begin my Buddhist practice
afresh, trusting what he says. I will return to the spirit
that I first had when I encountered this Buddhism. I will
make a new start.”
Also, thanks to a letter to High Priest Nikken written
by Chief Priest Yumu Yamane of Renshu-ji temple, who recently
seceded from Nichiren Shoshu, I was able to confirm the
doubts that I had about the temple. Chief Priest Yamane
clarified that the priesthood was not interested in “explaining
Buddhism to lay believers” ; that Nichiren Shoshu
is very rigid and cold and does not make any effort to
respect the culture and nature of people of other countries;
and that Nichiren Shoshu believes “priests must
follow the high priest absolutely, and believers must
follow their chief priest absolutely.” He also pointed
out the lack of democracy and free-thinking in the temple,
producing people who do not think or act of their own
accord.
Now that I’ve returned to the SGI, I am surrounded
by many warmhearted people. I can see many of my old fellow
members; I recently ran into two members who also left
the temple. When they saw me, they commented on how happy
I look now.
Sometimes I think I stayed too long with the temple. Maybe
I had too much pride to come back, and I was holding on
to too many bad memories of the way the organization used
to be. But I think I knew I would eventually come back
because I didn’t want to be a spiritually blind,
egotistical person. In some ways, I surprised myself by
coming back. I believe the SGI has changed for the better.
I feel a renewed sense of purpose. I believe experience
is power, and I will continue to share this experience.
I am in the process of continuing my human revolution.
I may make more mistakes in the future, but I will be
humble enough to self-reflect all the time, aiming to
become a polished individual. For this cause, I will always
return to the prime point of faith. I will continue to
advance and try my best.
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